FLOATING: Up the lazy Rio Paraguay!

Keep reading I promise it gets more interesting.. and don't miss the video of Will smacking his head..

Decisions decisions

I had visited Bolivia 6 months prior but it is dirt cheap, relatively close to where we were and I was pretty keen to get Andy to check it out as it is probably the most unique place I have ever visited (besides my own fantastically unique country of course) so I was pretty keen to make it our next destination. I wanted to avoid going by bus at all costs and had Bolivia been any closer we would have cycled there but we now only had 5 weeks left and I wanted Andy to see Bolivia while I spent a week or 2 in one place doing some more advanced Spanish. In addition I wanted allow time for us to cycle down along cliff edges through the Andes from the border of Bolivia down to Salta, Argentina along a section of road many tourers had raved about so having to get a bus to Bolivia to save time was looking more and more likely. Nick had recently cycled the section from Salta up to Bolivia and had lots of good things to say about it so I was pretty set on doing at least that part of the trip making it our last cycle leg before heading back to Buenos Aires in time for our flight home at the end of March. Now desperate for an alternative to a bus I started looking through the guide book I had been carrying around on my bike for 10 months and rarely looked at where I noticed the less explored option of getting to and from Asunión, going by boat. Looking at the map I noticed the Rio Paraguay, a river, winds itself all way down from the Pantanal, up on the border with Bolivia, down to Asunción where we were currently located. I had heard a lot about this Pantanal so I flicked through the pages to the section about the Pantanal where I discover one can one can not only get to the Pantanal by boat from Asunción but also one can get from the Pantanal on the 'Tren de la muerta' or Death Train to Santa Cruz, Bolivia a city I had not yet visited. So, in theory we could get from Asunción to Santa Cruz, Bolivia by boat and train which was perfect!

Two problems though, one was where does one get their exit and entry stamps and two we were not sure if boats regularly go as far up the Rio Paraguay as Quijarro, Bolivia in the Pantanal  where we needed to catch the train from. We went to the Montevideo Playa near Asunción port where most of these boats disembark from to inquire but all they could tell us was that the next boat to Vallemí stopping at Conception was the Cacique II and left on Wednesday at 7am, now almost 2 days away and another had already left on Saturday for Bahía Negra. Bahía Negra is the northern most Paraguayan port along the Rio Paraguay so I thought damn we had missed the boat we needed and would now have to wait almost a week for the next one. But then doing some more research I could not find a way to easily get from Bahía Negra in Paraguay to Quijarro in Bolivia where we would need to catch the train from. So we were left with one other option and that was to get the Cacique II to Vallemí then across to the Brazilian side and make our way up over land to Carumbá, Brazil which is just on the other side of the border from Quijarro, Bolivia. Looking at all the maps at my disposal the only Brazilian port on the Rio Paraguay with a road running from it to Carumbá was Porto Murtinho which is only just up river from Vallemí, Paraguay. Ok so we could on Wednesday go from Asunción to Vallemí arriving there 54hrs later, then we could catch a skiff to Porto Murtinho, Brazil where we could then take the road through the heart of the Brazilian Pantanal to Quijarro, Bolivia crossing the border at Carumbá. So after some more thought and discussion we figured it was the only boat option which gave us any hope of getting to Bolivia any time soon, plus we had heard that one can get their Paraguan exit stamp in Vallemí and an entry stamp to Brazilian in Porto Murtinho.

Extra travel info: Coming from Asunción up the Rio Paraguay the ports go as follows: Asunción, Paraguay; Conception, Paraguay; Vallemí, Praguay; Porto Murtinho, Brazil; Fuerte Olimpo, Paraguay; Bahía Negra, Paraguy; Puerto Suárez, Bolivia.

The Cacique II going to Vallemí left in 2 days time at 7am which would be too early for us to get from Luque to Montevideo Playa by bicycle so we asked Sergio if would could stay an extra night at his place and then Tuesday night we would stay in a cheap hostel near the port. I felt super bad to ask if we could stay an extra night as we were using his room and he was staying on a mattress in his mom's room (can't say I'd do that for a perfect stranger but perhaps now I would just don't think my parents want me sleeping on their floor) but Sergio is a pretty straight forward honest guy so we asked if he minded having us an extra night and we were in luck. We were thrilled to be spend another night there, not only did we now have some more time to sit and chat to Sergio and his mom while sipping tereré but we also got eat at the local, Don Corleone, which has great food including my favourite Lomitos packed with streak, veggies and egg enjoyed outdoors amongst the fairy light lit trees. The trip into Asunción the next day was quite pleasant most of the way as there is a cycle track running between Luque and Asunción however it was another hot day, really hot, confirmed by the billboard reading 41 degrees as we cycled into the centre so by the time we found a cheap little hostel right by the port call Hotel Oro (gold) we were drenched in sweat. There was however nothing oro (gold) about Hotel Oro besides its name but we did have air conditioning, a tv without an aerial, an en-suite bathroom and the port was just across the way all for around $7 each so we were chuffed with our find.

Cacique II to Vallemí

Early the next morning we stumble down to the Montevideo Playa on the port where I admittedly either expected to find that the boat was not there or that we would not be allowed on with our bikes but to my surprise, the boat was there, they were quite happy to take our bikes on board and to boot there was a queue of gringos eagerly awaiting its departure, I guess that's what happens we you mention something in the Lonely Planet! There seemed to be 2 passenger areas, one at the back with a whole lot of pew like wooden seats that looked like they would have been better placed in a church and the other a big orange raised area with no chairs near the front where a local lady had already lay her mattress. After sitting on one of the pews for a bout 10 seconds I began to wonder how I would survive 54hrs so I went in search of a better option. I figured we should grab a space in the orange area and worst case scenario we would be asked to move. Andy had bought a very cool lightweight hammock in Asunción for the trip so he hung his hammock over our bags while I blew up my travel mattress and set up a nice little nest next to them. The other gringos followed suit later discovering that there were more hammocks to rent so the area soon became a maze of hammocks, bags and bodies lying all over the place, quite festive indeed.

Most of the gringos had planned to get off at Concepción then head by bus across the rather bone breaking and boring Paraguayan Chaco up towards Bolivia however when I explained to them that I had decoded part of the Lonely Planet and worked out that one may be able to go via the Pantanal to Bolivia a few more decided to join us on the trip all the way up to Vallemí. The boat seemed to be pretty much split down the middle, locals sitting in the pews near the back of the boat and gringos littering the orange area near the the front, bar the one brave local who had made herself quite at home amongst the gringos. The brave local lady was clearly a regular as she had very quickly claimed her spot and brought on everything she needed including a roast chicken in a basket which she kindly plonked down next to my head giving off an aroma that was bound to make me queezy even when not bobbing around on a boat. She had also whipped out her hammock practically criss crossing Andy's and finally she haled someone from inside to bring her a pew from the back so she could alternate between hanging in her hammock and reading her book in the chair, and porque no (why not) I thought.

We set off up the river only half an hour later than planned which was pretty much ahead of schedule by South American standards. Within an hour the port and river side industry had turned to greenery and we had the Rio Paraguay pretty much to ourselves. As we made our way up the the river the scenery didn't change too much just going from big beautiful river lined by bushy greenery to thicker more Amazon tree like greenery with the odd rural village every here and there. It was exactly what I had hoped for, all I wanted to do was sit chill, read, catch up on some blogging and much need sleep with some beautiful scenery going by. I had lucked out too because I had a nice comfy spot protected from the chaos by our bags, with a nice comfy backrest and a plug to keep my laptop, music and headphones running 24/7. When travelling and on the bikes we would normally spend less than 24hrs in aplace before moving on and when on a bus with time to kill its usually useless because you either get car sick or you just to darned uncomfortable to think much but not now I was comfortable and had 56hrs in one place eve if that place was moving itself, felt super healthy and could roll over and have a nap with a light breeze blowing across me whenever I wanted.

About 33hrs after getting on the boat and a great nights sleep we arrived in Conepción. I had hoped that at Conepción the boat would empty out and we'd have it all to ourselves but instead we were greeted by a huge crowd of people waiting on the bank to bring on more cargo and passengers than I could ever have imagined. Within seconds of the boat docking it was chaos with people going all over the place, more tomatoes, bananas, onions, garlic, building material, you name it was coming on and in the passenger areas I was quite happy to see the line between gringos and locals had blurred very quickly. As more locals and regulars climbed on they began to crawl around under the hammocks grabbing every available space including any vacant hammocks. Now with the boat packed I still had my little nest now almost disappearing below all the cargo but I was comfy and happy which is a lot more than what I could say for many of the other passengers. Trying to get to the loo was very entertaining with one having to climb up and over hammocks, through legs, balancing along planks and then push their way though people standing around in the back passenger area, I thought to myself its getting dark and a far as I know Vallemí is 24hrs away so where on earth are all these people planning on sleeping. That night, after a beautiful sunset over western Paraguay, everyone just seemed to push a bag to the side and crawl up on the cold hard floor or just fall asleep in their pew seemingly unperturbed by their discomfort.

The next morning I woke early as the sun began to rise over the eastern Paraguay and everyone on the boat began to stir including the resident chicken that was now taking his morning stroll around the boat. Shortly after dawn we arrived in a little town which judging by the amount of cargo and people getting off at it it probably does not have any roads running in or out of it. Here there too were people on the bank waiting patiently for the boat but this time to greet the goods and people that the boat had come to deliver. This was a normal hour for me to be up but for the English guys still fast asleep in their hammocks it was a little bit early and they were not too pleased to be chased out of them so that the locals could get to some cargo stored below them. Once everyone and their cargo had clambered off we were left with a little more space to enjoy our final day on the boat but I think by now everyone was pretty much ready to get there even if the scenery was becoming evermore lush and tropical.

Having enjoyed 3 days and 2 nights, a number of little villages along the way and now our 3rd sunset we were due to arrive at our destination. We were promised at the start of the trip that we would be in Vallemí before nightfall on the 3rd day but it was now dark so I decided to get an update on the status. The boat was running late and we would only get into port after 10pm so we were offered to spend a night on the boat in the port for free if we liked. The boat was comfy and by now we were just about the only passengers left on the boat so we decided to stay and see if we could find a boat to go on with the next day. During the trip I had questioned a number of locals about going on further up the river than Vallemí and they had all confirmed that there is no way to get to Bolivia by boat and that besides other Paraguayan ports on the western bank like Bahía Negra which did not have access to Bolivia, Porto Murtinho of Brazil on the eastern bank just up from Vallemí was the only Brazilian port from which we would be able to get a bus to Qujarro of Bolivia via Carumbá, Brazil. Now pretty satisfied that we had gone as far up the Rio Paraguay as we could and still be able to get to Bolivia we cooked up some dinner up the front of the boat and then gathered our stuff in preparation for our landing at Vallemí where the rest of the cargo would get off loaded.

36hrs and half an hour later

After having enjoy our last night on the Cacique II we woke to the last of the cargo being removed so it was time to go in search of a way to get to Brazil. The first mission was to find an exit stamp from Paraguay then we would see how we could get to Brazil. OK so the fun begins, we can only get the exit stamp from Isla Margarita hmm so where is that we thought and began to question anyone and everyone. The answer we started coming up with was that Isla Margarita was 70km up river but on the other side of the Rio Paraguay, which I couldn't understand because I thought we were on the western bank and Brazil was just a little further up on the other side of the river so I wasn't sure how another Paraguayan port could exist any further up on the western bank. No one in the port could explain this mystery to me so we went off to the police station to get some more info and they too couldn't help us with a stamp but helped explained our situation. We were in fact on the eastern bank, the same side as Brazil, which explained how Isla Margarita of Paraguay could be 70km up river on the other side as the western bank is Paraguay all the way up to Bolivia. The border with Brazil was just 7km up the road from Vallemí with Porto Murtinho of Brazil just 60km up from there, so we he had been informed that we should even be able to get there by dirt road. Ok so that was fine but we still needed the exit stamp from Isla Margarita so where was that relatie to Porto Murtinho of Brazil? The police man was also confused by this dilema so he went off to ask his 'jefe' or boss. Returning better informed he explained that Isla Margarita opposite Porto Mortinho so if we could get to Porto Mortinho by land we could easily cross the river to Isla Margarita get our exit stamps, return to Porto Murtinho of Brazil and finally continue on our journey over land through the Brazilian Panatanal. Phew so finally we knew where we were and what we need to do.

We now had 2 options, go over land on this side of the the Rio Paraguay to Porto Mortinho then do a return trip to Isla Margarita to get our exit stamps or, get a boat to Isla Margarita to get our exit stamps and then head for Porto Murtinho across the river by skiff. After some enquiry we discovered the former would take 1 to 2hrs and the later would take 7 to 10hrs, so it was a no brainer right? Wrong, to confuse matters there is a river coming from the east running along the southern border of Brazil, the Rio Apá, joining the Rio Paraguay just further up river from Vallemí thus making the overland option a little more complicated. In the end the trip over land turned out to be a roués, because firstly it could not be done by car as the road was apparently badly flooded and for the first part of the fact finding mission everyone was saying that the bridge over the Rio Apá had been washed away. Then there was the option of taking a moto (motorbike), now this was not going to be cheap but apparently it only took 1 and half hours and they could take the bike across the Rio Apá in a little boat so that would be fine. The moto was not an option for Andy and I thaough as we had our bicycles with us and the others were a little concerned about their safety on a dirt road on a motorbike designed for the road, with no helmet, and while carrying a heavy backpack for such a long time. So we decided to stick together started the search for a boat up river whichever side it was willing to take us to.

An Italian couple, Marco and Veronica had planned to do the trip from Asunción to Porto Murtinho from the start also decoding the Lonely Planned understanding that it was possible but it reading it again, reading between the lines, I think you are supposed to take the boat from Asunción that leaves on a Saturday to Bahía Negra and then ask to get off at Isla Margarita, do the formalities then continue across to Porto Mortinho. Anyway, so there were 7 of us stuck in Vallemí and fortunately Veronica and Marco were leading the negotiations between boats as they had been living in Buenos Aires for a while and know the continental lingo. It was by now already getting on for noon and so we had already given up any hope of catching the bus that day from Porto Murtinho but we hoped to be there at least by the next morning. Andy I had our bikes so we could always have cycled but we were unsure of the route and we didn't want to leave the others stranded not knowing if they would ever make it out of Vallemí so we decided to stay and see if we would have any luck with a boat. There were no regular cargo boats going that day and the next one was over 3 days away so we had to see if one of the local guys would take us. The prices started off very high, as high as $45 each in a small speed boat but we had only paid $18 for the boat that took 3 days to get us to where we were so we weren't going to pay that. The next option was the man fixing his boat but that was going to be almost $40 and although it was an option it was not yet fixed and we kept being told to come back in half an hour. We kept asking around with no luck but we always had the boat that was being fixed as a last resort so we just had to wait around and keep asking around at the port and the bank side where we were sitting under a tree.

While we sat there waiting patiently for our proverbial ship to come in, not really being able to go off and use the time constructively because we were still living in the hope that we were miraculously going to need to hop on a boat and head off, we saw a little green boat come in. As the little green boat got closer we saw it had a cargo full of meat rather brutally strewn across the boat and a donkey cart had backed up near it ready to pick up the load. I'm used to seeing meat transported in sterilised refrigerated trucks and usually in tasty cuts of meat or at very least bleed dry clean cuts of meat, not here no need for that all that admin. It looked like an animal had been killed, ripped apart and then just flung piece by piece into and onto this boat heads, hoofs, skins and all with blood dripping from everywhere including the men that were now off loading it. It made us quite ill just looking at it but it wasn't long before a local guy spotted this tasty cargo just fresh off the boat and rushed down to grab himself a head with tongue still hanging from its jaws with a healthy supply of blood dripping from it, stopping nearby to fill up with petrol leaving behind a pool of blood that no one at the station seemed too bothered by. Veronica continued all day trying different boats and kept checking with the boat being fixed but it was always going to be just another 30 minutes. Around lunch time Veronica received some relatively positive news that a public boat that runs up and down the river was on its way up, should be there at 3pm and would cost a fraction of what we had been quoted so we all gathered in the port with our hopes again on up high. Now all watching the horizon eagerly trying to spot the public boat time slowly slipped by until eventually by 4pm came and went so we gave up hope when more news came in, the public boat was at the port just down river and would be coming around the corner any minute, perhaps just half an hour more.

Eventually a boat did arrive but it wasn't the boat we were hoping for, it was the boat that goes up to Bahía Negra and was on its way back down to Asunción. I spotted some gringos on it and I felt like I should wave and scream don't get off you'll never leave here but even more so I wanted to know where they had bordered the boat, perhaps Porto Murtinho perhaps Bahía Negra but then how had they got to Bahía Negra in the first place?! There was a blond little boy and his friend selling pieces of bread on the port and we had gotten chatting to them, interestingly they could speak Guaraní and Spanish but were far more inquisitive about the world than their fellow village people who seemed to know nothing of the world beyond Vallemí. The blond spotted my Spanish English dictionary and started skimming it for English words to practice saying, the first one he picked was entertaining because as he said it everyone just looked at one another and said nothing. So the little boy tried again getting a similar response now looking at me with a very confused look on his face confused he said 'gatito?' ah yes baby cat hmmm we don't use the English world for that much any more. How he had randomly manage to select that word of all words in the dictionary I don't know but he accepted this explanation so now with us all in hysterics he continued on learning as many words in English beginning with 'P' as he could.

Having now spent an entire day sitting at the port in Vallemí finding the smallest things to entertain ourselves, Andy and I figured if there was nothing concrete on the cards soon we would go buy some food and then attempt to cycle there, staying the night in the bushes along the way. However, of course as Murphy would have it as soon as we started to make a move some news came in, the boat with the meat strewn all over it, now known as the donkey boat, could take us there for around $30 each, another red boat could take us at 2am for the same price and then a port official had taken pity on us and had told Veronica that we could spend the night at the port offices and then go with a friend of his at 6am the next morning also for $30 each. Ok so we had a place to sleep and we figured we'd take the 6am boat as it was offered by someone looking vaguely official.

Semi satisfied that we may actually get out of Vallemí within a week we could relax by the port offices which were actually quite pleasant as they had a bathroom with shower we could use, some pillars for us to hang our hammocks on and I could pitch my tent on the small patch of grass out front looking somewhat like a holiday resort when seen through the lens of a camera. Also while we were sitting there a Brazilian came and told us he had seen us waiting around and could get someone to drive down from Porto Mortinho the next morning to collect us because he believed that the road was fine and that the bridge had been fixed plus it would take 1 and a half hours only costing us $10 each. This was a very appealing offer but that would mean waiting until 9am the next day for this lift that may never come and then we would have missed the opportunity to take any of the boats so we thanked him and said we'd stick with the 6am boat. Another piece of info we had received while sitting there was that the offices in Isla Margarita where we were supposed to get our exit stamps would be closed on until Tuesday as Monday was a public holiday, but it was only Saturday and we could not wait so we just parked that in the back of our minds and decided we'd worry about that when we get there.

I had had an ok nights sleep in the tent while Will and Andy managed to get cold hanging in the hammocks swaying in the wind, quite a feat in these parts, given that one is normally lying in a pool of their own sweat even when lying directly under a fan. It was now just before 6am so we were eagerly awaiting the man that would finally get us the hell out of Vallemí. Just half an hour and he'd be there we were told and he was, then just half an hour and he would be done loading his boat and would come and talk to us and he did, he no was longer going up river instead he was now going to Asunción. Ok right no point in getting annoyed but either I was going to be heading off on one of the either other boats by 8am or Andy and I were going to get on our bikes and get the hell out of there. So, Marko and I headed off back to the bank where the donkey boat, red boat and expensive boat that was being fixed were docked but it was a Sunday and nobody was about so fine I thought this is small town someone must have the mobile numbers of their owner so I marched off to the only place open, the petrol station and asked after the boat owners. Apparently the owners did not live close by but apparently the donkey boat's owner was asleep in his donkey boat so off we went. As we approached the smell got stronger but nothing was putting me off getting to that boat and I could now see the owner sleeping on the floor, 'Señor, señor!' we called as we tried to wake him up, we want to go Isla Margarita would you please take us? The owner quickly hopped up saying 'si, en media hora si (yip in half an hour)'.

The Donkey Boat

After some faffing and calling of his boat mate we were ready to set off on the donkey boat called Alex. We were all so happy to finally be on our way that we had become somewhat hysterical laughing as the bikes were piled on top and we were shuffled onto the benches that had been cover in raw meat the previous day all ready for our 10hrs journey aboard the donkey boat. As the owner pulled the string a number of times to start the engine it seemed to chug for a bit then stop, then he tried again all the while putting his crack which was now proudly on display in Henry's face, but there was no dampening of anyone's spirits here especially when the engine roared into action raising cheers from some now very relieved gringos. After the excitement of having set off settled we realised we had 10hrs of sitting perched on a wooden bench with an engine running at full throttle just centimetres away so loud that no one could communicate. Although we did soon realise we could clamber up on top of the roof and out onto the front of the boat and then once everyone was strewn across the boat the owner indicated to Andy and I that there were 2 hammocks we could lower. Hanging in my hammock reading my book enjoying the the scenery as the banks began to draw closer and while starting to wind our way through the water lilies and side water ways I was quite chuffed that we were having a little adventure but secretly worrying about whether or not the Brazilians would let us in without a Paraguayan exit stamp. To kill a bit of time we played the most time consuming game in the world, Monopoly, using sign language but it was the card game version and unfortunately it didn't really take nearly take as long as the board game version so we were done in what felt like minutes, now isn't that ironic?

It was had now been almost 9 hours since we had left Vallemí and I was beginning to grow amazed that the noisy engine had made it this far when suddenly it began to below smoke form all sides. The skipper jumped to the back and cut the fuel which caused the boat to then slowly start floating back down the river. No one knew what to do, cry or laugh so we just laughed and then all admitted that we didn't really believe the that this little boat could even last as long as it had in the firsts place. The skipper jumped about a bit pouring oil in here and there making sure it was well lubricated and well cooled before for trying to start it up again. Everyone was almost beginning to enjoy a bit of relief from the constant thud of the engine when suddenly the engine roared back into action which signalled the end of the conversations that had started up, sending everyone back to what they had been doing.



Not too long after that we saw what looked like a port but no one dared suggest it was the one we were trying to get to, it was a bit earlier than had been said so we all just convinced ourselves that it could not possibly be the one we had so longed to get to because nothing in South America runs on time let a lone a head of time, surely the donkey boat wasn't going to be the first? But then as we pulled up to the shore it was confirmed, it was Isla Margarita then Marko and Veronica almost immediately hopped off running into the officials office to see if they could convince them to give us exit stamps from Paraguay before they closed but apparently the person in charge of that had gone off with the stamp on a 2 month holiday. No one seemed too phased about the need for an exit stamp and just directed us to head across to Brazil sans exit stamp. Ok so we convinced the skippers to take us across the river to Porto Murtinho, Brazil but they were a little nervous to do so as apparently they did not have permission so we had to pay them for the trip before we got there. As soon as we hit the opposite shore we had to jump off with all our belongings allowing them to flee back to Vallemí. Now in Porto Murtinho we felt quite sorry for a our skippers aboard the donkey boat as they would now have to return but this time through the night.



The port authorities in Porto Murtinho didn't seemed phased by the fact that we didn't have Paraguayan exit stamps either, in fact they didn't even have entry stamps for us and just told us to continue on and when we saw a federal police station we must ask them for an entry stamp. This explained why we came across so many South American travellers that didn't even hold passports! There we were running around like headless chickens trying to comply with all the legal requirements when the officials themselves didn't seem to care whether or not we had entry and exit stamps! We would spend the next few days making our way to Santa Cruz, Bolivia but for now we were just glad to be back on dry land even if it was full of people that I once again did not understand. Zzzzz this and zzz that, Portuguese, a very strange language especially when you can kind of understand it but now really.

All the pics can be seen here.